500 eh? No bad for a man who couldn't read or write until the age of 23. Now, finish up your swally and put on your jaiket, we are away to the stock yards to buy you a new unicorn. If you behave on the bus I will let you ride your new beastie home.
Ahh well now, I remember the little fella when he was just an alter boy over at St Eunan's in Letterkenny. He spent most of his time standing on a chair in disgrace in the corner of the chapel. I seem to remember the communion wine evaporating overnight on several occasions. A bright boy he wasn't, however he could shovel horse muck like no other boy in the village. Shorty, Horsey stink-pants they used to call him, ahhh those children could be cruel about his lazy eye and sticky out ears. I recall the only friend he had was a tall rough looking boy who used to send him for whisky and Tayto crisps at will. I wonder what became of that vagabond? No good, that's for sure.
Shorty would sometimes go through the charity bags and pick out brightly coloured womans clothing to wear. He was certain that his future lay in the entertainment field, he could sing a bit, but not enough for him to give up his main dream of being a door to door knife sharpener. We all had doubts about that one, not being tall enough to reach the door knocker was a bit of a non starter for his career designs.
It was talked about in the village that his taller friend used to send him up chimneys on a pole for a shilling a sweep. Such a lovely shock of bright red hair he had for sure. I believe that venture fell through after the soot caused his hair to fall out and he became as bald as a baby badgers arse at the age of seven. Poor sowl, he changed his name from his given 'Patty O'Furniture' to a more glitzy title of 'Phil McOxenbauls' after he landed an audition on 'Ireland's Got Talent'.
Sadly, the audition was for a human cannonball and his wee legs could't negotiate the bottom rung of the steps. He was fired...
His big break came when he was relaxing about the village scaring the local childer with his hump and bushy eyebrows, when a filum man got an idea from the poor thing and made a movie which went on to be a big hit in Ireland. 'Ryan's Slaughter' it was called, it sold out the bingo hall cinema for three nights running and the rest is history.
Have some respect ya little bollix, was it not myself that used to let you ride the crossbar on my bicycle when the bus driver refused to have you onboard because you scared those Protestant tourists on their way to Bally-K?
For the love of St.Pat, some people have the shortest of memories to match the shortness of their legs.
22 comments:
Or massive hands!
Congratulations on the milestone.
500 eh? No bad for a man who couldn't read or write until the age of 23. Now, finish up your swally and put on your jaiket, we are away to the stock yards to buy you a new unicorn. If you behave on the bus I will let you ride your new beastie home.
500 posts and never a fee. You can't beat it.
Ahh well now, I remember the little fella when he was just an alter boy over at St Eunan's in Letterkenny. He spent most of his time standing on a chair in disgrace in the corner of the chapel. I seem to remember the communion wine evaporating overnight on several occasions. A bright boy he wasn't, however he could shovel horse muck like no other boy in the village. Shorty, Horsey stink-pants they used to call him, ahhh those children could be cruel about his lazy eye and sticky out ears. I recall the only friend he had was a tall rough looking boy who used to send him for whisky and Tayto crisps at will. I wonder what became of that vagabond? No good, that's for sure.
Shorty would sometimes go through the charity bags and pick out brightly coloured womans clothing to wear. He was certain that his future lay in the entertainment field, he could sing a bit, but not enough for him to give up his main dream of being a door to door knife sharpener. We all had doubts about that one, not being tall enough to reach the door knocker was a bit of a non starter for his career designs.
It was talked about in the village that his taller friend used to send him up chimneys on a pole for a shilling a sweep. Such a lovely shock of bright red hair he had for sure. I believe that venture fell through after the soot caused his hair to fall out and he became as bald as a baby badgers arse at the age of seven. Poor sowl, he changed his name from his given 'Patty O'Furniture' to a more glitzy title of 'Phil McOxenbauls' after he landed an audition on 'Ireland's Got Talent'.
Sadly, the audition was for a human cannonball and his wee legs could't negotiate the bottom rung of the steps. He was fired...
His big break came when he was relaxing about the village scaring the local childer with his hump and bushy eyebrows, when a filum man got an idea from the poor thing and made a movie which went on to be a big hit in Ireland. 'Ryan's Slaughter' it was called, it sold out the bingo hall cinema for three nights running and the rest is history.
Congratulations, Bubba! xoxoxox
Great pic...congrats on your 500. Quite an achievement
A tribute from Father O'Reilly, now that's a special day, congrats on the milestone.
Standing ovation!
B.E.; Ta pal, them's the big haunds of a good friend. :¬)
Chef; One more afore we go eh? :¬)
UB; Can't beat it pal! :¬)
Father O'Reilly; Ya always were a Bastid! :¬)
sav; Ah ta missus, come over,drinks are on me, but be quick! :¬)
xoxoxox
Tempo; And some folk said it couldn't be done eh? :¬)
Kono; That feckin' priest still turns up when ya least expect him, he'd make a lads good eye turn! :¬)
hope; No need for the standing now my friend, I'm quite happy with a sitting ovation! :¬)
xxx
One more sounds like a good idea to me, however it is Friday so I'm thinking why not make it an all-dayer eh?
Have some respect ya little bollix, was it not myself that used to let you ride the crossbar on my bicycle when the bus driver refused to have you onboard because you scared those Protestant tourists on their way to Bally-K?
For the love of St.Pat, some people have the shortest of memories to match the shortness of their legs.
Chef; It HAS been a while since we pulled an all-dayer! Line 'em up my big brother, I think we deserve it! :¬)
Father O'Reilly; As we all know now,there was NEVER a crossbar on that bike!
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I give you the claps.
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